What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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