When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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Men

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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