Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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Military intelligence.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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