Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops