There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

thumb_up thumb_down -26

like this or you will die at some point in your life

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

thumb_up thumb_down -26

guess what>? your mum lol

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops