A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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