Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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This isn't funny.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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