- Anti Joke

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

Urban ghettos

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

Man U

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

Andoni was here

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

Katy Perry

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??