Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

Women's Rights

roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...