What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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AIDS

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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