What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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