A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

thumb_up thumb_down -1

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

kill yourself....with a cigarette

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops