What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

What did John name his dog? Doggy

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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