Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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