Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

Why did the person write an antijoke? To get to the other side

Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

A guy walks into a bar

What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

one stop shop

Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...