One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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