Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops