What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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kkkk

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your mom.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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