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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

guess what? bannanas

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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