Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops