How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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There's my tractor.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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