Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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