ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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