Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops