There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Kate

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What what In the butt

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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