How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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