Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Communism hehe xd

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops