I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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João Duarte reads this.

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What's one plus one? two.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops