How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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guess what what ...

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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An anti-joke

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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