Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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Cheese

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops