What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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Fine, ladies first.

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What's better than a gold brick? 2 gold bricks.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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