Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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