Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I fantasize about having sex with a moose

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What are Antijokes? type of comedy typical joke setup anticlimax that it lack of punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops