Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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An man walks to a bra

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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