What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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Fox News

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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