Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Fox News

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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have safe sex

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops