- Anti Joke

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

school homewrok

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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