there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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