How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Smelly Indians.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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