How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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