Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why Did the throw up He was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops