Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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