What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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