Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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One time i was sitting down

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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