Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Guess what? I like trains.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops