A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -42

So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

thumb_up thumb_down -44

why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

thumb_up thumb_down -46

1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

thumb_up thumb_down -54

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops