how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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NEVER

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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