What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A van drives into a car.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops