What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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( . Y . )

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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copy me and i will kill you

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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