What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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chuck norris

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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