Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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George W. Bush

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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