- Anti Joke

Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

9/11 my birthday

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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